The free beans person is back! They've updated their ad at least twice. I'm sorry to say I didn't take screen shots now...
As you may recall the first ad said something to the effect of "Free beans. I have too many beans, come take them away."
The second ad (which I didn't take a screen shot of, unfortunately) said the same thing, but added the descriptive phrase "free canned beans". This, of course, answered many of our questions.
The most recent ad is much more informative, but also brings up some additional questions. This time, I've taken a picture!
In case you are unable to click through to read it, the ad now says:
As you may recall the first ad said something to the effect of "Free beans. I have too many beans, come take them away."
The second ad (which I didn't take a screen shot of, unfortunately) said the same thing, but added the descriptive phrase "free canned beans". This, of course, answered many of our questions.
The most recent ad is much more informative, but also brings up some additional questions. This time, I've taken a picture!
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In case you are unable to click through to read it, the ad now says:
I HAVE 18 CANS OF CANNED BEANS...THEY WOULD BE GREAT FOR SOMEONE MAKING A BIG POT OF **CHILI**.I LIVE AT 3 EDGETT AVE...THEY WILL BE IN A BOX ON THE FRONT STEP...ANYONE WHO WANTS THEM COME AND TAKE THEM....I HAVE ACCUMULATED TO MANY CANS OF BEANS AND I WILL NEVER EAT THEM ALL...........COME AND TAKE THEM AWAY.
You can tell they mean business now: they've upgraded to caps lock, and you don't just use caps lock for no good reason.
Question 1: How does one become the proud owner of 18 cans of beans? I mean, seriously. I've gone to the grocery store and come home and said "Oh, dang, we already had jam." In fact, we've ended up the proud owners of 3 bottles of jam because I couldn't remember that we already had some. But I've never bought 18 bottles of jam at once. That's just crazy talk.
Question 2: Why are these beans only great for someone making **CHILI**? Are these beans substandard for bean salad? What about if I was making refried beans?
Question 3: Are you concerned that perhaps people are too embarrassed to swing by and pick up your beans? Is that why you're just leaving them on a box on your front steps? Nice and anonymous, that's the way we like our porn and beans.
Question 4: Was it necessary to point out that you wouldn't be able to eat all the beans you had bought? Did you think "oh, I had better tell people that I don't want to eat these beans, otherwise they will think 'no worries, those beans will just get eaten if I don't take them'"? After the first couple of cans of beans, trust me, nobody will be around you to care if you eat any more.
Question 5: How do you feel that over 100 people have visited your ad, yet none of them want your beans? What do you think this suggests about society? Do you feel alone in a bean-less world? Or perhaps there are 100 other people saying "dang, someone's already giving beans away, nobody will want mine."
Question 6: Will you continue to post your free beans on Kijiji until someone takes them away? Or could you be convinced to take those beans to the food bank where 18 families might enjoy your surplus beanery?
Whoa, that was kind of a thought provoking ending.
Alternate ending: Has anyone ever made refried beans? I'm curious if the recipe is as simple as the name implies. There aren't many other things that are named how they are made. Take Upside-Down Cake would be one. Just asking.
Question 1: How does one become the proud owner of 18 cans of beans? I mean, seriously. I've gone to the grocery store and come home and said "Oh, dang, we already had jam." In fact, we've ended up the proud owners of 3 bottles of jam because I couldn't remember that we already had some. But I've never bought 18 bottles of jam at once. That's just crazy talk.
Question 2: Why are these beans only great for someone making **CHILI**? Are these beans substandard for bean salad? What about if I was making refried beans?
Question 3: Are you concerned that perhaps people are too embarrassed to swing by and pick up your beans? Is that why you're just leaving them on a box on your front steps? Nice and anonymous, that's the way we like our porn and beans.
Question 4: Was it necessary to point out that you wouldn't be able to eat all the beans you had bought? Did you think "oh, I had better tell people that I don't want to eat these beans, otherwise they will think 'no worries, those beans will just get eaten if I don't take them'"? After the first couple of cans of beans, trust me, nobody will be around you to care if you eat any more.
Question 5: How do you feel that over 100 people have visited your ad, yet none of them want your beans? What do you think this suggests about society? Do you feel alone in a bean-less world? Or perhaps there are 100 other people saying "dang, someone's already giving beans away, nobody will want mine."
Question 6: Will you continue to post your free beans on Kijiji until someone takes them away? Or could you be convinced to take those beans to the food bank where 18 families might enjoy your surplus beanery?
Whoa, that was kind of a thought provoking ending.
Alternate ending: Has anyone ever made refried beans? I'm curious if the recipe is as simple as the name implies. There aren't many other things that are named how they are made. Take Upside-Down Cake would be one. Just asking.
Thanks for the entertainment.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments Cogsy. I'm happy you chose to spend your hard earned entertainment dollars with me. :)
ReplyDeleteGanb... I'm glad that you enjoyed my post. Always happy to see people reading the ol' blog, you know. But, um, what?